The Truth About Planning Change: You Can't

If I learned one thing over the Christmas holiday, it is that the time to meditate on the new year's resolution is more important than the resolution. But back to that later--I last left you on December 14 leaving for Washington, DC.

Lessons in Optimism

OK you know that there is a reason Pollyanna was my favorite movie at 10. I have professional credentials in the Glad Game. And, I needed everyone of those credits coming back from the GREEN and Safe Jobs meeting in DC--which was, incidentally, very interesting. I was forewarned that staying at a hotel as nice as the Mandarin Marriot was a fluke and not to get used to it. But while it lasted, I truly loved the simple, clean, zen aesthetics and quiet Asian sensibilities of the staff. I felt envigorated by the intellectual work but the hotel atmosphere relaxed me and lulled me into what I realized on the third morning was a false sense of calm. At 8am on Wednesday, December 16, I finally looked at my phone and the office blackberry to find my neighbors had been trying to reach me since the night before. The water main in my backyard had broken again making the quiet fall fountain of Lourdes look like Niagara Falls.

Did I mention earlier that I have great neighbors? I do. When I finally arrived home about 10pm that evening, Jarrod had contacted the original plumber, the water department, and another plumber to check the work of the first plumber. I came home to all mechanical running normally which is something I can't say about my return from Christmas in Wisconsin. But more on that later. The plumber checking the first plumber reported that the first folks were standing behind there work but spun a dismal tale of things to come "if" it breaks again. I now have estimates saying that a redo on the line with cost anywhere from $2500-20,000. For now, it is all working but my realtor is checking into rumors that there should be documentation of an inspection of the new installation. But for now, no bill from the plumber and the water bill gets forwarded to them when it comes in.

The Changling Christmas

The stress of the DC trip, broken water main, and having to leave for Wisconsin with very little done about Christmas created a little pressure while preparing the last week. Despite the short timeline, I did make my way to Aglamesis Brothers Ice Cream and Candy. All That Jazz sent me a "sweet" gift certificate and I decided to share some of my booty with a few on my Christmas list. The gift cert was the brainchild of Fred Jurgens from the band. Fred grew up in Mariemont and coached me on what to see to the grand old man of the business if I saw him. I did not, Fred, but totally enjoyed the experience. It's hard to tell from my grey day photo, but the place is pink and black--very retro. Inside is an old ice cream parlor and a candy bar with some of the most delicious chocolates I've ever tasted. I bought an absurdly great cinnamon ice cream there for the apple pie at Thanksgiving. Oh, my.

Of course, the gloom and doom weather forecast had me wondering if I'd spend Christmas in some midwest airport. Happily, the flight in on the 23rd was fast and uneventful.

I got to Madison before the weather set in and settled down to a few days at Kathy and Norb Krusiecs--enjoying their beautiful new four seasons room and Rockwellian splendor.

Broken mains aside, I knew that this would be a strange holiday--a transition year--and a changling christmas. Two years ago, I thought I had seen the last Christmas on Lexington Street but the market crash kept me there a year longer. So, I have had a couple Christmases to contemplate the change. If there is one thing the divorce taught me, it is that you need to plan holiday changes so that they don't catch you by surprise. OK, I admit I planned too much--but not on the ritual side--on the social side. Besides working the first three days around the boys' schedule (Thomas left for an Arizona roadtrip on Saturday),

I spent time with Grandma Pierick (resplendent in her cashmere scarf and copper pearls at left), Mom, my brothers Ken and Steve and their families, Ellen Bernards, Mike Esch, Frank Huitt, my cousin Mary Buhrmann, and Hanne/Gonzalez at Moon Lake near Lake Superior. On top of it, I was to go to my Reel Friend's wedding (Vicki Delcourt) and sister-in-law Lori VB's Dad had a stroke. Life got complicated further. The only real down time came at Moon Lake.

More Moon Lake Memories

I love Moon Lake. It is one of my favorite places not just because it is beautiful and remote (Iron River, WI), but because two of my favorite people are there--Judy Hanne and Dave Gonzalez. I gave Dave a jelly bean pooping panda for Christmas. Yes, he ate them.

I spent 3 days there. 12 of those hours were spent driving. Did I mention how cold Iron River was during this period of time? -15 degrees without the windchill (That's Judy braving the elements to wave goodbye on Saturday--see the smoke hanging in the air?). Bitter but beautiful as you can see by the photos. We drove to the Lake Superior shore and took in a view I imagined to look like the icy seas the night of the Titanic's sinking--grey, slushy, omenous waters and shards of white ice layering at the shoreline. You can see by the photo below, the sky was a deep threatening purple over the grey water all hanging over a frozen white shore. The pictures don't do justice, but you get a sense of the penetrating cold and the barren skyline.

Here's the little painting I did from the photo. It's the same place I painted in summer several years ago (see below).

Isn't the shot of the frozen apples tree crazy? Dave said they had a bumper crop and couldn't get to them all. Despite the bitter cold, Dave patiently pulled over and endured the wind as I opened the window and caught a few shots.

We ventured out only two other times. Once for groceries and the other for libations. Judy and Dave felt I couldn't live without a trip to the local watering hole known for its infamous $14.75 Bloody Mary's. Yes, ridiculous, but a virtual meal in a glass. 15 pieces of food including a shrimp, beef stick, anchovy, brussel sprout, hardboiled egg, cube of cheese...and the list goes on...

Back at the "lodge," we were content to play SCRABBLE, cook, eat, knit socks, eat, drink, watch movies, eat and eat. Except for a small drama involving getting my car up the steep icy drive, it was quiet visit full of great conversation, silliness, and smart talk. I even did a little painting of the lake from one of my drama shots. New Year's Eve was decidely a senior event. We began watching "Lawrence of Arabia" with yet more food and wine. By 11pm, we surrendered and didn't see 2010 until a decent hour the next morning.

The Long, Long -- Long Road Home

I saw my cousin Mary on a side trip to Sparta and caught up with sick family. At Krusiecs, I packed my post-holiday shopping deals with gifts and gave Philip a box to send back on Monday. The flight back was to be a short hourlong hop from Madison directly to Cincy. I'm glad Kathy and I packed my box early because Delta called around 10am to say my direct flight at 4:35pm had been cancelled and now I needed to leave at 2:30pm for Minneapolis where I would sit until 9pm (cold, cold looking airport tower below) getting me to Cincy around 10:30pm. Enter another delay--I finally got home at 1:3oam on Monday, the day I was to return to work.

Pavlov was a smart guy. If you slap a dog every time he goes to chew your slipper, he first starts to cringe when you appear as he's ready to grap a slipper and later he stops going to the slipper all together. An unpleasant pattern has emerged over the fall at Muchmore. Everytime I go away, I come home to a calamity. At first, I shrugged off my multiple mishaps and repurposed them as good story material. After coming back from Christmas, however, I'm starting to believe I should stay put for a while. When I saw a fallen tree laying where my garage would be if I had one, I thought--give me a break. The dead tree had also landed on a railing going up to my back lawn and broken a section of my potting bench. All this was a pain but not traumatic. Afterall, I'd been on the road for 10 days and just wanted to have different clothes and my own bed to sleep in. Alas, it was not to be. Grousing to myself about needing to call State Farm in the morning, I entered the house and turned up the heat. I pulled what I needed to into the house and made a much needed visit to the loo where I unhappily realized that cool air was coming from the heat vents.

Just Breathe

I haven't mentioned the stiff neck I picked up the previous Saturday. It hurt and stress makes it worse. I called the power company, my home warranty people, and my cell battery died. By then it was 3am and I was done. Pulled a twin mattress and space heater into the bathroom and crawled under two blanket in all the polar fleece I could get on. Three hours of sleep and two days in a hotel later, my furnace was back and running and paid for by home warranty. It was not the dream beginning of a new year or a new decade. It was not the blissful end of a peaceful, drowsy holiday. AND, it did nor help reentry into my new life.

But I as thought longingly about the vast overrating of the homeowner experience and contemplated a mid-career course change as a clown for Cirque du Soleil, I reminded myself that I know the optimism literature and, if science wasn't enough, I knew that I had supremely surpassed even the superstitious rule that "bad things happen in threes" and my luck was bound to turn. I did a lot of self-talk that week--"...good things don't last forever, but bad things don't either..." "...statistically, my odds are due to change..." I admit--I had a hard time taking myself seriously.

Surviving the Fall of Dangerous Living

Nevertheless, this week has been better. Found a cheap health club and exercise is helping get not only my body but my head in the right place. Other good things have followed. I've found a rehearsal big band who's invited me to sit in. Last night, I ushered at the Mariemont Players production of Stage Fright and Friday a colleague invited to join a movie group that takes in art films on Tuesday (cheap night at the show). Most importantly, the long Martin Luther King holiday weekend has finally given me a block of time in which to take a look at what I want to do this year which involves getting into an artistic groove and moving away from my fall of living dangerously at Muchmore.

As of 12:30am, there is no snow and nothing is broken. It's a good day in Cincinnati.